Changes.

When we were young, we used to play games. Games that took us to places and made us forget everything around us. We played with our friends and families and that time of the day was inevitable and it was something that we looked forward to. Games were hard to play just all by ourselves. I remember those times when one of the best games happened to be Catch 'N' Run. We also had games like Ice and Water, Police and Robber and so on. Who can forget the god of all games, Hide and Seek?

But then, we grew up. We stopped playing as frequently as we used to and most importantly, we started playing games with ourselves. We started playing games of lying to ourselves, reassuring ourselves from the harsh reality. We started playing games of lying to our closest ones to get away from questions. We started playing games of trying to be more superior than everyone and making them feel inferior, even if it be in our heads. We started playing games with our own souls, with our own minds, with our own hearts.

As a kid, being a grown up seemed so amazing. It meant being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. Within the mind frame of around a 6-something year old, I just wanted to grow up to be able to buy all the Barbie dolls I wanted to. It just meant no more addition-subtraction Math sums, no more English dictations. It meant no more time limits, no more studying so much. How wrong was I. How wrong were we.

Sure, I'm not all 'grown up' but I am between that phase where I no longer understand if I'm a kid or if I'm almost an adult. I sometimes forget where I am and behave like a kid, no matter how mature everyone tells I am. I sometimes just let my brain do all the thinking when I'm supposed to let my heart out. It's harder to heal wounds now because it's impossible to put a band-aid on my heart and let it heal physically while the wounds now happen to be emotional.

I remember when we were young, it was easier to forget the emotional wound by involving ourselves in something else and we cried when the wound was physical. It seemed as if the world came to an end with physical wounds. But now, we forget the physical wounds and laugh it off as our "embarrassing moments" and cry/ silently suffer over our emotional wounds. It's just so intriguing that it'd take infinite eternities to figure out how we, as humans, function.

If this was what was meant by growing up, I definitely did not see this coming. I don't want the dolls that I wanted, in fact I hate them now. I actually love addition and subtraction now and hate everything else in Math and English has turned into such a passion that correcting people's spellings is a daily thing for me. Almost 10 years ago, it was all so different. So many things have changed and I've changed too; and a great deal at that!

P.S. - Damn! That was a long post.